When the supermale dies, the largest wrasse in the area, male or female, becomes the new supermale. And then they have a party to celebrate it. I doubt the fish actually part.  Swaree, maybe, but not party.

Also, Joe's dad died.  It was an event many years in the making, but shocking none-the-less.  He hadn't really been with us in several weeks and he was just a shell of the man that I'd met a couple of years ago, but when Joe's phone rang in the middle of the night, we both knew what was going to be on the other end of the line and we were both surprised.  At least then. 

And then, the next morning, I spent a couple of hours cooking meals and doing laundry and preparing things around the house so mom and dad could camp out for a week and off I went to join Joe and the Family White at dad's house.  When I arrived, I'd realized I'd forgotten the first rule of funeral preperation - which is "Always bring your arts-and-crafts supplies" (if you are a boy, you'll never understand how important these things actually are).  So, I jumpped in the car and ran home - leaving my mobile phone and purse on the counter.  I'd realized it, but thought "Ahhh... whatever, I'm just going home and coming back - I won't need any of that stuff..."

Except I did.  my car died on the way back.  About three miles from the nearest exit it started chugging and making a wicked awful noise that made me drive on the shoulder of the road with my hazzard lights on and mulling my options at 10mph.

Option 1: Keep driving to the next exit (Marysville Mobile Station) and make a call to joe and have a safe(er) place to leave the car overnight (because I knew that no one was going to be in the mood to find a tow truck on the day dad died) and risk completely ruining an engine that MIGHT be salvagable.

-or-

Option 2: Walk in the freezing cold for two miles along an express way and leave my car on the side of the road with an engine that may already be beyond repair.

I decided to go with option #1 and when the gas station lady wouldn't let me use the phone behind the counter (there's a pay phone - call collect!) she relented when I started crying about dead dad and dead car on the same day.  Really - it was pretty pittiful and you would have let me use your phone too...

And then, when arragnements were made on Tuesday morning - we found out that the funeral home was BOOKED!  Booked!  It took me a good three hours to wrap my mind around a backup at the funeral home - which was okay because with my dead car, it meant the brothers would have something to keep them occupied while we sat around waiting for other's loved ones to clear out the space reserved for Joe E White.

I also ended up writing the obituary because Linda (Joe's step mom) couldn't make her notes and reminders into actual sentances - and when the first sentance discussion came about, she wanted to let everyone know that "Joeseph E White, 62, of Ft. Gratiot was taken to the kingdom of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ."  I mulled that over for a minute while trying to think of a way to gently let her know that didn't sound  very "White family-like" to me and we finally settled on "Joseph E White, 62, of Ft. Gratiot peacefully passed on January 8, 2007."  That sounded much more White Family-like to me.

Also, Joe's dad was a roofer - which meant that lots of old roofers were at the visitation and funeral.  And I love seeing old laborors at something like that - and this is the reson.  They show up with wet hair and shabby clothes that smell like clean laundry and blue jeans that don't have holes in the knee (although often they have thin knees) and the look you in the face when the tell you how sorry they are and they grab your hand to shake it, and they squeeze.  And, this is the difference between someone like them and someone like me:  When I have to go to a funeral, I take a shower like I do every day, and I put on perfume, and panty hose and high heels and a pantsuit like I do every day.  My hair looks nice and my teeth are brushed like they are every day.  These guys don't do these things every day and when they show up with hair still wet from a shower and fingernails that are cleanish and clothes without holes in them, you know - beyond a doubt - they made an effort to be presentable to pay their respects to the family of a man they truly cared about.  It's not an effort for me to do these things... for them, it is stepping into a hygenic territory that is truly reverent. 

And I did the eulogy - Friday night, the siblings sat around and wrote out their thoughts for me and threw around some funny stories (Joe thought his dad was Joe Nameth.  Or Elvis) and I listened intently and sewed them together and then presented it to a house that was surprisingly packed.  And later on that day, I got hugs from family members that, up until then, I was pretty sure didn't know what my name was.  

Then last week my boss was on vacation. Which means that I acutally had to make an effort at work.  And what an effort I made.  Phew.  I felt like a rock star because most mornings, I walk in at 9:30 and stroll to my desk and start the day.  While she

was gone, I had people pacing the hallways waiting for me to get in so I could answer important questions like "where are the spare coffee filters?"  There is nothing that makes me feel more important around here than a week without Dee.  Although, I do have to say, a week is all I need before I think I would quit getting things done and sob quietly at my desk waiting for her to come back.

Last Saturday was my friend Mikelyn's 30th birthday and Graduation party.  It was officially her Gradubirthdation Party (Which, Hallmark does NOT cater to, BTW) and I decided to leave Alex and Is with my friend Amy's parents while we went out.  I called twice to check on them.  Not Alex and Is.  Amy's parents.  Alex and Is are very harty children and can withstand many things.  When I picked up the girls that night, Dave (Amy's dad) let me know the girls would be returning next weekend.  And after Alex and Is found out there was a waterbed AND scrapbooking AND pizza AND a mountain of movies AND crazy cat toys, I'm lucky the fell asleep so I could take them home.  When I walked in, I half expected them to be clinging to the waterbed screaming "Don't take us home... we want to stay here...", but we safely got them out of the house.  And, full report from Amy's parents says they girls were fun to have over and they would do it agian.  SUCKERS.

And so that, is the very long story about why I was gone.

Amy hearts wikipedia.